Enough About Me, Let’s Talk About Me

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Last week, I celebrated my birthday.

 

You probably didn’t know it either.

 

In fact, out of my nearly 800 Facebook friends, I received a paltry 10 birthday wishes.

 

Now, I don’t know if I should really be angry about this or just frustrated at this.

 

What bothers me is that some people who had given me wishes in the past were nowhere to be found this year.  I don’t know if they were angry at me because I never recognized their birthday or they were just self-absorbed in themselves.

 

Yes, I said that.

 

People have been so self-absorbed with themselves that they can’t get out of their own way.

 

I like to call these people “self-centered” as they care only about themselves.

 

I have seen a lot of that lately.

 

Now before I begin some of you may consider that I was that way with my last post, when I wrote an open letter to my now-married now-I-guess-ex-girlfriend.  In some ways, I have to agree to that, but those of you who know me would know that I really am not this way in real life.

 

Now onto my real life examples of the self-centered people:

 

Example 1:

 

Most everyone on Facebook is self-centered.  Whether you make a post about your new baby, your body building techniques, or what you are having for dinner, you are telling me things that I really don’t care about.  The biggest offenders of this are the so-called “celebrity” friends that I have that post endless pictures of them and have no social interaction with anyone.  Certainly, narcissism is alive on Facebook.

 

 

Example 2:

 

In the last few weeks, a former high school class member graduated from a local adult education school and received their GED.  What is disturbing about this is that the person wanted to participate in the city’s graduation ceremonies to make it look like they were a real graduate.  This person was encouraging the fellow former class members to contact the superintendent to have the policy altered to allow for the person to attend the regular ceremonies.  This person said that they will go to the media if he doesn’t get his way.  Personally, I am outraged over this as I don’t believe that any policy should ever be changed just to satisfy one person.  Of course, I would not post it in the Facebook group’s page as it would definitely get deleted very quickly.

 

Example 3:

 

Too many times lately, people have not been paying attention when either entering or leaving a particular doorway.  It don’t matter what doorway, it could be any doorway.  The fact that people don’t realize that somebody is behind them and either don’t look or don’t care to look so the door goes flying into my face.  I see this almost everywhere I go that doesn’t have automatic doors.  Are people who self-centered that they don’t care of what they are doing?

 

Example 4:

 

Yes, we know that you should not text and drive.  However, what about the reverse?  Lately, I have seen a lot of people using their little cellphones and NOT looking where they are going sometimes walking right out in traffic causing people like me to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting them.  As I mentioned in a previous post, this sort of thing of not paying attention while walking causes problems, some causing injury.  I think that these people should stop being so self-centered and put down their phones and pay attention to their surroundings especially when walking in traffic.

 

Example 5:

 

Last Sunday, I posted on Facebook that I was experiencing the saddest day of my life.  Only 4 of my friends inquired what was wrong and a fifth liked this status (seriously liking a sad status, do these people even pay attention to what is written?).  When I explained what was wrong, NONE of them commented any further or showed any sympathy to my distress.  Apparently, they were all self-centered to care.  Ironically out of these 4 people, only 2 gave me birthday wishes a couple of days earlier.  Again, I am not angry just disgusted by the lack of respect of my friends.  This is self-centered behavior at its finest.

 

 

Overall, I hope that these examples have brought to light the fact that people have become more and more self-centered and less social to others.  People have become more self-absorbed and show absolutely no emotion or feelings to others under any circumstance.

 

I believe this has to change or our society is doomed to be a bunch of self-centered people.  I would like to think that I am wrong about that.

 

 

 

An Open Letter to Tanya Lee H.

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Writer’s note:  I am writing this week’s post to all my blogs as I feel that it is important not only to me, but also to those who have those long unanswered questions about me.  Some of the information presented here may be offensive to some people.  Reader discretion is advised.

 

Dear Tanya Lee H.:

 

In 11 days on May 25, 2014, you will be getting married in some place called Diamond Bar, California.

 

The bad news is that it is not to me.

 

The worse news is that I feel that it is a HUGE mistake.

 

Of course, you could say that I am jealous that it is not me that you are marrying.

 

However, after stalking your future husband’s Twitter and Facebook accounts, it appears that this guy is nothing but a self-centered jerk.  I am basing this solely on what I have read and seen online of this guy.  I feel that this wedding is more of a matter of social convenience rather than the true love that we (yes, us) could and should have had.

 

Let me now rewind the story back a few years ago when we first met.

 

I had been working with your brother Rob for a few years when you started working as a cashier at Staples.  During your employment with Staples, we talked all the time when we weren’t busy.

 

We learned a lot about each other.  So much so that I felt like we belonged together.  I thought that possibly that you felt the same way.

 

But something bothered me.

 

There were some things that you said to me that disturbed me.  While I don’t want to mention them here, I internally questioned your social stability.

 

After having been through other toxic relationships in the past, I was personally scared of what life would be like if we were alone together on a date or something like that.  I really wanted to be with you, but felt that working together would violate company policy and I think you felt the same way.

 

Then the day came.

 

You decided to quit the company.  I dreaded this day ever since I learned it was going to happen.  I was bothered that I was losing my best friend and confidant.

 

It was on that last night together that you hugged me and gave me your telephone number.

 

This was actually 2 firsts.  Nobody had ever hugged me before.  Don’t laugh – it is true.  The funny thing was I finally felt loved for the first time in my life.

 

The second first was that Tanya gave me her telephone number.  Again nobody has ever given me their number before much less a female.

 

However, and it was a big however, was she said to me “call me if you want”.  These words became etched in my head like as if she really was interested, but may not be interested.

 

To say I was confused by this would be an understatement.  I was actually set back as if she was pushing me away while at the same time wanting me.

 

Then the worse thing happened.  I lost her phone number.  Make that I misplaced it and it got cleanly washed away.

 

So I could not call her.  The phone number was not in the book and I had no way of reaching her.  All of a sudden my life turned to crap.

 

For weeks, I was hoping that you would return back to Staples so that we could talk about getting together.

 

But it didn’t happen.

 

Disappointment was mounting.

 

Then one Tuesday, while at the mall, I saw you at the late Waldenbooks store sitting on one of the benches looking at a book with a female friend.  I tried hard not to be seen by you as I did not want to embarrass you or your friend.

 

Luckily, I was able to leave the store without being seen.

 

About a half-hour later, my luck ran out.  I was at Best Buy with my mother shopping and you were alone and noticed me.  I remember I was looking at “The Mummy” DVDs and you focused your radar on me.

 

This is where everything went wrong.  You asked me why I didn’t call you.  I tried to be diplomatic in my conversation with you especially since I had my mother with me and she did not know about you.  I tried to tell you that I wanted to talk later someplace alone.  It appeared that you wanted none of that.

 

Then you stormed off out of the store.

 

At this point, I had a choice.  I could leave my mother in the store alone (mistake) or I could chase after you and talk to you right then and there (possibly a bigger mistake).  I decided to choose the former.

 

Sadly, at this point, I never saw you ever again.  Over the next couple of weeks, I continued to spindle downward with no bottom in site.

 

Then it happened.

 

I was driving home one night from work and I was listening to the radio.  This song came on the radio that struck me like lightning.

 

The song was “So Yesterday” by a girl named Hilary Duff.  Suddenly, this song related to what happened between me and Tanya.  This song wedged in my head so much that I could not shake it.  The more I heard it over the next couple of days, the more I related to it.

 

At this point, I decided to learn more about this Hilary Duff girl.  I found out that she was the star of a popular Disney Channel show “Lizzie McGuire”.  I decided to watch an episode just to get a feeling for what this girl was really like.

 

Then it happened.

 

I was hooked on Hilary.  Like a druggie, I could not get enough Duff.  I bought CDs, DVDs, magazines, books and anything else with her in it.

 

I was obsessed.  It became so bad that I asked Best Buy if I could have a large poster of her when they were finished using it.  I did the same at f.y.e. with a poster they had as well.   I also asked there if I could have the “Lizzie McGuire Movie” video display when they were done with it.  They allowed me to have it.

 

At this point, it seemed that I was completely obsessed with Hilary, even going to the point of carrying the lyrics of “So Yesterday” in my pocket and reading them when I was depressed.

 

I was also joining as many online groups as I could from Yahoo to feed my desire for pictures, comments or anything else related to Hilary.

 

It would be obvious at this point I was not only obsessed, but crazy about her.  Some online groups shunned people like me for being “too old” for being a fan.  I told them that real fans came in all ages.  Certainly, I was not alone in my beliefs.

 

Then the big one happened.

 

Lizzie McGuire was done, but my obsession was not.

 

I had to find a new outlet for social relief.

 

So I started watching other Disney shows at the time such as “Suite Life of Zack and Cody”, “Hannah Montana” and “Wizards of Waverly Place” among others.  I quickly became obsessed with these shows as well.

 

I would buy as many of the teen magazines as I possibly could every month even though I was really too old for them.  It became apparent that I needed an intervention.

 

Before that would happen, I started watching shows on Nickelodeon as the shows on Disney Channel became stale.  Once again, my obsession with kid and teen shows grew.

 

At this point, much of my thoughts had turned away from Tanya.  However, one day while on the old MySpace, I decided to friend her out of the blue.  It appeared she either rejected me or ignored me.  At this point, I also noticed that she was living somewhere in the Midwest.  This bothered me as it seemed she wanted nothing to with me at all anymore.

 

So with no future with Tanya and no intervention, I was further encouraged with my admiration for people like Hilary over the remainder of time that I remained employed at Staples.

 

After leaving Staples, I decided that I was finally going to join the new social media revolution.  I signed up for Facebook and Twitter.  Quickly some of my old work colleagues friended me on Facebook and soon I would be using Twitter extensively as well.

 

Then I decided one day to look up Tanya on Facebook and Twitter.  I noticed on Facebook that she had since moved to Sherman Oaks California.  On Twitter, she had an account, but she has never tweeted.  I am only one of four of her followers.  I wonder if she knows that I am following her there even though she has never tweeted anything.  I also noticed that another one of her followers was a guy named Dave V.

 

So I decided to investigate him.  What I saw I didn’t like.  Then I did more and more reading about him, the less I liked.

 

This brings us up to the last couple of months.  I decided to Google Tanya’s name and I found out that she was engaged to this Dave guy.  Imagine the fact that I was completely heartbroken beyond belief.

 

So she moved 3,000 miles away to get away from me and then get engaged to someone else.  It appeared that my chances with her were over.

 

However, I still needed an output for my emotions.  So, a few months after starting my anti-Staples blog, I decided to start a new blog discussing virtually any other topic.  Ironically, many of those postings have been about teen shows just to help me cope with my social loss.  I know that many people have always been confused why I discuss these types of shows more than adult shows, but now I hopefully have cleared up the method behind my madness.  It is just my way of producing my own intervention or something like it.

 

Overall, Tanya’s wedding will not have my blessing under any circumstances.  I feel that I was shortchanged in this relationship as she refused to listen to me that I really wanted her, but I could not contact her because she was not found in the phonebook or any other method.  I don’t feel that I was to be to blame for this relationship failure, but a huge misunderstanding between 2 people.

 

Lastly, I still have those posters of Hilary on my living room wall and the “Lizzie McGuire” is still in my bedroom filled with all those teen books and video tapes from back in the day.

 

Tanya, you may be so yesterday, but I still wish that you would be really part of my tomorrow.

 

I am hoping someday you will get to read this and know that I still really care about you despite being so far away.  I wish I could right the wrongs of the past.

 

Sincerely,

 

Louis Brown

(your best friend from Staples)

 

Good to Be Dead?

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Sometimes it is good to be dead or maybe to appear to be dead.

 

However, if you are a website this could be either a good thing or a bad thing.

 

Almost a year ago, I discussed the website youreply.net.

 

However, in the last couple of days, a new message appears on the site that says “closed for now”.  Unfortunately this site has not seen any real activity since the first of the year with the last question being back in December.  Personally, I never received any followers which added to my lack of desire to the site.

 

On the other hand, the new Formspring.me seems to be alive and well.  I have over 300 followers now there.  I am amazed at the growth in the past few months of this revamped site.  If you want to join me on the site, go to http://spring.me/louisbrownusa and follow me.

 

The other dead site (or nearing its death) is logmein.com.  If you have never heard of this site, it is a remote computing site that allows one computer to see exactly what is on the screen of another computer and take control of it.

 

I have used the free version regularly since I signed up a couple of years ago and it has worked really well between my laptop and desktop.  I would have recommended this program highly.

 

But, now, logmein.com is discontinuing the use of the free version and wants me to pay to use their pro version.  While I understand that you can’t make money from free, I still believe that the free version should still be available for those people for personal use.

 

So I will be looking at getting a new program over the coming couple of weeks.  If I find anything that I like, I will report on it here.  I hate giving up on this great program, but I refuse to give into the paid version which is more than I ever need.

 

Overall, being dead can be a good thing or a bad thing.

 

It just depends if you rely on the dead.