Predictions of 2014 and 2015

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Well, it is that time of year again where I dig out my crystal ball and look back at the 2014 predictions and make new ones for 2015.  I reported that at least 3 would come true – let’s see how close I came.

 

Here are the predictions and the results in parenthesis:

 

  • Justin Bieber will go to jail.  (It happened at least once maybe more.)
  • Kim Kardashian will admit that “Baby North” really never existed and that her pregnancy was fake.  (No, it did not happen.)
  • Kim Kardashian will marry and divorce Kanye West all within the year.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • RadioShack will be out of business.  (No, it hasn’t happened yet.)
  • JCPenney will be out of business.  (No, it hasn’t happened yet.)
  • Kmart will be out of business.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • Amanda Bynes returns to TV in a new comedy show, but will also do an interview with Oprah describing the last few years.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • Time Warner Cable will be sold and broken up into pieces leaving smaller markets such as where I live without any providers at all.  This means that many small independent cable operators will start up after many years.  (No, in fact a possible merger with Comcast might happen instead.)
  • Lady Gaga will do a Playboy layout proving that he/she is dual gendered leaving many fans disgusted. (Thankfully, this didn’t happen.)
  • Nickelodeon will scrap “Sam & Cat” and Dan Schneider will leave the network and produce shows for rival Disney.  (The first half is true, the second is not.)
  • Hilary Duff will divorce and sister Haylie will marry.  (Not quite on both.)
  • ABCFamily cancels that horrible “The Vineyard” and “Twisted”.  (Fortunately, yes to both.)
  • Fox News fires Karl Rove after making offensive statements that the network hates.  (No, it didn’t happen.)

 

So last year I once again scored 2 ½ right out of a possible 13.  I barely missed my goal of 3 correct, but I was close.  Now let’s gaze into the crystal ball for 2015 predictions:

  • The merger of Time Warner Cable and Comcast will be placed on hold as both companies would have to discharge some of their market holdings.
  • The possibility of a Staples/Office Max (Depot) merger is canned as neither side can agree on any merger details.
  • Given no merger, Office Max (Depot) shuts down at least half of their remaining locations.
  • As well, Staples shuts down an additional 300 stores as the hack attack of 2014 grows larger.
  • On the brink of bankruptcy, RadioShack is saved by a last minute investor who wants to merge it with another big box retailer.
  • Walmart suffers a major hack attack, which causes millions of credit and debit cards to be compromised.
  • The E! Network finally cancels everything Kardashian as the network struggles to survive.
  • Adam West, TV’s 1960’s Batman, will be the voice of an aged Bruce Wayne on an episode of the Fox series “Gotham”.
  • California will suffer a substantial earthquake in the area north of Los Angeles.
  • Keystone pipeline will be defeated in Congress.
  • MTV will cancel “Eye Candy”.
  • My ex Tanya will get a divorce and return back to Maine wanting to search me out and try and patch things up. Of course, I accept (what choice do I have?).
  • I will either get a new job or a new girlfriend in 2015, but not both.

Out of my 13 predictions for this year, I predict only 2 of them will actually happen.  Maybe it is time for a new crystal ball.

Next time, I expect that my 2 blogs will each have their own unique content again.  At least that is my plan for now, but I can’t make any promises because I can’t predict what happens in the world especially given my seemingly defective crystal ball.

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Nick and Disney and the Mostly Bummer Summer Thus Far

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Well, it was bound to happen.

 

Just it wasn’t expected to be this soon however.

 

“Sam & Cat” is officially dead.

 

I wasn’t really surprised that this happened, but given the facts it is pretty easy to understand why.

 

Many of the problems as far as I can tell revolved around actress Jennette McCurdy.  Between the racy lingerie pics to her not showing up for the Kids Choice Awards earlier this year, it was apparent, she was not happy.

 

In the last week or so, she has even written that she is “not a role model” and that she thought the real reason for the show’s cancellation was that she was not happy how adults were portrayed on the show, mostly as stupid people.

 

As if this was really the case that caused the show to be cancelled.

 

I believe that between her costar Arianna Grande’s music career taking off and Jennette’s career otherwise being stagnant, Jennette felt she was going nowhere fast.  While I can understand her pain, it certainly was not a great idea to sabotage the show like she did.

 

My thought is that Jennette wants to get out of working for Nickelodeon once and for all and possibly even out of kids shows as well.

 

So what does she think her future lie?  Here are my ideas (in order from best to worst):

 

  • Bring back her country music career. She has already released one EP last year.  Maybe it is time to get to the studio to start recording again.
  • Get a new show on a non-kid’s network possibly like ABC Family. She really is not standard network material yet.
  • Follow in the career path of people like Lindsay Lohan by doing a Playboy and adult films like “The Canyons”. She has already proven she has a body and likes to show it off so maybe this is what she really wants to inspire to do.  Of course, this only works if she goes on drugs and starts drinking and partying.  Certainly, not the ideal career choice if she wants to have any fans left.

 

Beyond Jennette’s problems, this show was full of problems of having lousy storylines and a couple of stunt castings.  It also had many jokes that would go over the heads of most of their audience only to be appreciated by older viewers.

 

The blame for that lies strictly on creator Dan Schneider, who seems to be in burnout mode as his latest creation of “Henry Danger” was not so great.  It was a lousy superhero movie (it was less than an hour, which I don’t call a movie, by the way) that lacked anything close to being either funny or dangerous.  This show reminded me of the 1960’s Batman series, just not nearly as entertaining and certainly not memorable.  My grade after the premiere episode is a 2.  I will report back later if I feel if it gets better or worse.

 

Speaking of movies, both Disney and Nickelodeon aired lousy movies in the last few weeks.  “Zapped” (Disney)  and “Terry the Tomboy” (Nickelodeon)  were both forgettable movies and both were pretty bad.  Both were 90 minutes of torture and neither was enjoyable.  My score on both is a 3 and I would rather watch anything for 90 minutes than either of these clunkers.

 

All has not been totally bad this summer on the kids show front.

 

There is one shining knight in a sea of junk.

 

And that shining light is “Boy Meets World—The Next Generation”.

 

Oops, that is not the title.  Its real title is “Girl Meets World” and it has joined the Disney Channel lineup.

 

For those people who loved the show in the 1990’s with Cory and Topanga will be happy that they are happily married with 2 kids.  This new series focuses upon their daughter and her best friend and their everyday struggles just like the original series did 20 years ago.  I loved the original and I love this new series as well.  The only downside to this series is that it is running on Disney Channel and may get an early end given that Disney has a policy of cancelling shows when they reach a certain number of episodes regardless of how well the show is doing.

 

My suggestion would be to move this show to its sister station of ABC and put it on Friday nights just like the original show was.  The memories that this placement would create and possibly even last longer than the original.  I highly recommend this show and give it a grade of 9.

 

Overall, we have one more official month of summer and only one winner in a crowded field of wannabes.  This week Nickelodeon is running a new live-action “Odd Family” movie.  My hope is that it is equal to the previous one and not be more summer garbage.

 

My fingers are crossed for a better August. Of course, we always have the fall to look forward to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2013 and 2014 Predictions

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For those of you who don’t read my other blog, I make annual predictions of what I expect for the New Year.  This year I am moving my predictions to this blog as I feel it is much more appropriate here.

 

Let’s see how last year fared:

  • JCPenney will be out of business by year’s end.  The revamped store format just won’t work  (this didn’t happen yet)
  • Sears will spin off Kmart to survive on its own.  It won’t work and Kmart will inevitably die off.  (didn’t happen despite closing several Kmart stores including the one I have previously shopped at in Portsmouth, NH)
  • Another mass shooting brings the U.S. government to ban all automatic and semi-automatic weapons no matter what the NRA says. (shootings happened, but no ban)
  • Chicago murders will top 750 by year’s end.  (nowhere near that number which is good news)
  • Kim Kardashian aborts her baby after public break-up with Kanye West much against her family’s wishes. (didn’t happen)
  • Ali Lohan, Lindsay’s younger sister, will join her older sister for a Playboy layout. (didn’t happen, but Lindsay did appear nude in an NC-17 film)
  • A major earthquake will strike in Alaska disrupting the oil pipeline in the area.  It will be disrupted for at least 4 weeks and gas will go up to at least $4/gallon again. (earthquake never happened)
  • Simon Cowell calls Demi Lovato his “new Paula” as he decides to keep her for another season of “X Factor”.  Unfortunately, Mario Lopez will be running solo as another Kardashian sees herself out of a job.  (mostly correct, but Lovato is gone for the 4th season)
  •  “American Idol” will have a female winner for the first time in a few years.  However, the drama between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey increases as the weeks go on causing both to storm off the show for at least 2 episodes.  Replacement judges are called in to fill in until the two return.  (female winner yes, however the fireworks kept both on the show)
  • Beyoncé will have a wardrobe malfunction on the Super Bowl.  However, she won’t even realize it happened.  (no wardrobe malfunction, but we question whether she performed her songs live)
  • Nickelodeon cancels Big Time Rush, but the show is picked up by Disney Channel for a fall schedule addition.  (cancelled and broken up – no future for any show)
  • Hilary and Haylie Duff will return for a TV movie in 2013.  More than likely to air on ABC Family channel(Haylie had a Christmas movie, but Hilary nowhere to be found)
  • And finally my former want-to-be girlfriend Tanya will return to Maine wanting to get a real relationship going after her stint in California didn’t quite work out  not calling her because I misplaced her phone number.  (I will have more to say about this in my other blog at a future date—all I can say is that it didn’t end the way I ever thought it would)

Overall, I did better than last year.  I got 2 ½ correct.  Let’s see what the crystal ball has up its sleeve for this year.

  • Justin Bieber will go to jail.
  • Kim Kardashian will admit that “Baby North” really never existed and that her pregnancy was fake.
  • Kim Kardashian will marry and divorce Kanye West all within the year.
  • RadioShack will be out of business.
  • JCPenney will be out of business.
  • Kmart will be out of business.
  • Amanda Bynes returns to TV in a new comedy show, but will also do an interview with Oprah describing the last few years.
  • Time Warner Cable will be sold and broken up into pieces leaving smaller markets such as where I live without any providers at all.  This means that many small independent cable operators will start up after many years.
  • Lady Gaga will do a Playboy layout proving that he/she is dual gendered leaving many fans disgusted.
  • Nickelodeon will scrap “Sam & Cat” and Dan Schneider will leave the network and produce shows for rival Disney.
  • Hilary Duff will divorce and sister Haylie will marry.
  • ABCFamily cancels that horrible “The Vineyard” and “Twisted”.
  • Fox News fires Karl Rove after making offensive statements that the network hates.

I predict out of this year’s 13 that at least 3 of them will be true.  We will find out a year from now.

 

 

Disney Failures — One Ending and One Beginning

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Usually Disney doesn’t have program failures, but it now has 2 of them.

 

The first of them airs on their sister station ABCFamily.  The show is “The Vineyard”.  This show is sort of in the same spirit of shows like “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” that lived on MTV years ago.  This time instead of sunny California, we are transported to the should-be fictionalized town of Martha’s Vineyard.

 

Over the last 7 episodes (the 8th and final one airs next Tuesday), we have followed a group of pretty privileged people as they spend a summer together in the tourist area.  Unfortunately, there is nothing likable about these people as the only thing we know about them is their first name and what little of the characters are presented.  Ironically, there is no swearing, not even a bleep.  This makes me wonder if this show was real or just a scripted show that was made to look like a real life drams.

 

The only good thing about this show is the scenery as this would make a great travelogue of the area, but beyond that forget it as this show offers nothing but a lot of crying, drinking and yelling.

 

I don’t know why I have continued to watch this show except that the scenery is pretty and the people are pretty, but the story is very, very ugly.

 

My score:  2

 

Summary:  Stay for the scenery, watch the pretty people, just mute the volume on the lousy storylines.

 

 

The second failure comes in what seems to be the 40th season of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”.  This syndicated show which started out as a few times a week show with Regis Philbin as host has become a now daily show that previously was hosted by Meredith Vieira.

 

Now the show has a new host of Cedric the Entertainer.  Quite honestly, this guy is the wrong person for this show.  As of the first three episodes aired, only 1 white person was a contestant on the show.  There seems to be a bias against white people on this show now that never existed before.

 

Beyond that, I know it is customary for Cedric to where his hat indoors, but didn’t anyone ever teach him any manners about that.  Add to this, his constant use of the word “man” with every male contestant and you get the feeling that you are watching a show that should be on BET instead.

 

Back in the 1970’s, we had just one colored game show host. It was television poet Nipsey Russell.  Today, the airwaves are filled with African-American hosts in the game show world.  It is no longer a white boy’s club.

 

Sadly, this show fails to keep my interest anymore as Cedric is NO ENTERTAINER.  Given that the show hasn’t awarded the top prize in years, this show has slipped to dismal at best.

 

It’s time for our final answer of goodbye once and for all.

 

My score:  5

 

Summary:  This show would play great on BET, but now this show has shifted away from being a show for the white folk.

 

 

Holy Crap, Don’t Look Ethel! — Swindle and the VMAS and Batman too

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To say that last weekend was boring would be the furthest from the truth.  In fact, it could be said that it got downright ugly.  At least to some, it would be.

First up, I have good news and bad news for Jennette McCurdy.

The good news is that her Nickelodeon show “Sam & Cat” has finally hit its stride after 8 episodes and finally looks somewhat promising.  The episode “#MommaGoomer” finally has characters from Victorious as guest stars, most notably Sikowicz. This show may not die a quick death after all.

However, the same cannot be said for the latest Nickelodeon movie “Swindle” that premiered last weekend.  This movie promised an “all-star cast” with actors from “Big Time Rush”, “Sam & Cat”, “Supah Ninjas” and the now-cancelled “How to Rock”.  The lead actress of this show was Jennette McCurdy, who played an over-the-top young actress and Noah Munck, who still seems that he was still playing the same character from the previous movie of “Nicky Deuce”.

The premise of the story was when a very old baseball card was found in a wall by a couple of teenagers and they decided to take it to a local collector shop to try to sell it.  He offered them a couple hundred dollars for it, when he knowingly knew it was worth well over a million dollars.

Unfortunately, this is where the real story ends.  What happens from this point forward is a mish-mash of scenes that have absolutely no connections at all with each other as they go chasing to get their card back from the swindler.

Sadly, this movie lasts for 2 hours and is probably the worst 2 hours I have seen in a long time.  Ironically, the script ended 20 minutes into this train wreck.

Oh wait, other worse Nickelodeon movies “Fred: the Movie” and “Best Player”, which also star Jennette McCurdy, could be considered a triple feature of bad movies that were just bad career moves, one right after another.  Somebody please get this girl a new agent before we find her like Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan.

At the end of this movie, the viewer is given a very short preview of the next Nickelodeon movie called “Jinxed” airing this fall.  This movie stars Ciara Bravo from “Big Time Rush”, also in this movie as well.  Judging from this preview, this movie looks like another loser.  I will have a review after it airs later this year.

My recommendation:  Don’t be swindled by “Swindle”.  This is overhyped garbage with a lack of storyline.

My score:  2

 

 

Now onto another event of the past weekend: the MTV Video Music Awards.

I did not watch this show completely, only parts of it.  However, I saw enough to realize one thing:  it had its share of its annual shock value.

Most notably was the whole Miley Cyrus performance with Robin Thicke.  As this performance, it had enough gyrating as any stripper show would probably have and then some.

While many complained about someone so young doing this sort of thing, nobody held a gun to their head to watch this.  It is quite apparent that Miley is no longer Disney material anymore.  She has finally grown up whether we wanted her to or not.  I certainly have reluctantly accepted her post-Hannah Montana image.

Ironically, where were all these complainers when the movie “Spring Breakers” came out earlier this year?  This was a nudity filled R-rated movie that featured Disney darlings Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens along with ABCFamily (also owned by Disney) star Ashley Benson.  I think that this would be much more of a reputation killer than Miley’s VMA performance.

One thing I found interesting was that this show was scheduled for 2 ½ hours, yet this show clocked in at about 2 hours 25 minutes.  While it was nice to finally get a short show, it makes me wonder if they ran out of acts or whether people just got bored.  It was not uncommon in years past to see this show running close to 3 hours or longer.  Maybe the VMAs are finally running out of steam or maybe just running out of shocking things to feed us every year.

Since I did not see this entire show, I won’t give this show a score as it would not be fair, but from what I did see I would say watch if not easily offended.

Lastly, I must comment on Ben Affleck as the new Batman.  This is the worse choice ever!!  Did they pick the first name out of their alphabetic rolodex?  What’s next in their casting: Kirk Douglas as Robin and Lady Gaga as the Joker?  Seriously, I am not looking forward to this at all.  My expectations of the Superman/Batman movie have all but been ruined now.

Overall, it appeared that last weekend was full of bad performances and the anticipation of future bad performances.