2013 and 2014 Predictions

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For those of you who don’t read my other blog, I make annual predictions of what I expect for the New Year.  This year I am moving my predictions to this blog as I feel it is much more appropriate here.

 

Let’s see how last year fared:

  • JCPenney will be out of business by year’s end.  The revamped store format just won’t work  (this didn’t happen yet)
  • Sears will spin off Kmart to survive on its own.  It won’t work and Kmart will inevitably die off.  (didn’t happen despite closing several Kmart stores including the one I have previously shopped at in Portsmouth, NH)
  • Another mass shooting brings the U.S. government to ban all automatic and semi-automatic weapons no matter what the NRA says. (shootings happened, but no ban)
  • Chicago murders will top 750 by year’s end.  (nowhere near that number which is good news)
  • Kim Kardashian aborts her baby after public break-up with Kanye West much against her family’s wishes. (didn’t happen)
  • Ali Lohan, Lindsay’s younger sister, will join her older sister for a Playboy layout. (didn’t happen, but Lindsay did appear nude in an NC-17 film)
  • A major earthquake will strike in Alaska disrupting the oil pipeline in the area.  It will be disrupted for at least 4 weeks and gas will go up to at least $4/gallon again. (earthquake never happened)
  • Simon Cowell calls Demi Lovato his “new Paula” as he decides to keep her for another season of “X Factor”.  Unfortunately, Mario Lopez will be running solo as another Kardashian sees herself out of a job.  (mostly correct, but Lovato is gone for the 4th season)
  •  “American Idol” will have a female winner for the first time in a few years.  However, the drama between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey increases as the weeks go on causing both to storm off the show for at least 2 episodes.  Replacement judges are called in to fill in until the two return.  (female winner yes, however the fireworks kept both on the show)
  • Beyoncé will have a wardrobe malfunction on the Super Bowl.  However, she won’t even realize it happened.  (no wardrobe malfunction, but we question whether she performed her songs live)
  • Nickelodeon cancels Big Time Rush, but the show is picked up by Disney Channel for a fall schedule addition.  (cancelled and broken up – no future for any show)
  • Hilary and Haylie Duff will return for a TV movie in 2013.  More than likely to air on ABC Family channel(Haylie had a Christmas movie, but Hilary nowhere to be found)
  • And finally my former want-to-be girlfriend Tanya will return to Maine wanting to get a real relationship going after her stint in California didn’t quite work out  not calling her because I misplaced her phone number.  (I will have more to say about this in my other blog at a future date—all I can say is that it didn’t end the way I ever thought it would)

Overall, I did better than last year.  I got 2 ½ correct.  Let’s see what the crystal ball has up its sleeve for this year.

  • Justin Bieber will go to jail.
  • Kim Kardashian will admit that “Baby North” really never existed and that her pregnancy was fake.
  • Kim Kardashian will marry and divorce Kanye West all within the year.
  • RadioShack will be out of business.
  • JCPenney will be out of business.
  • Kmart will be out of business.
  • Amanda Bynes returns to TV in a new comedy show, but will also do an interview with Oprah describing the last few years.
  • Time Warner Cable will be sold and broken up into pieces leaving smaller markets such as where I live without any providers at all.  This means that many small independent cable operators will start up after many years.
  • Lady Gaga will do a Playboy layout proving that he/she is dual gendered leaving many fans disgusted.
  • Nickelodeon will scrap “Sam & Cat” and Dan Schneider will leave the network and produce shows for rival Disney.
  • Hilary Duff will divorce and sister Haylie will marry.
  • ABCFamily cancels that horrible “The Vineyard” and “Twisted”.
  • Fox News fires Karl Rove after making offensive statements that the network hates.

I predict out of this year’s 13 that at least 3 of them will be true.  We will find out a year from now.

 

 

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Nickelodeon Scraps Line-Up — Now What?

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If you were going to remodel your house, I highly doubt that you would bulldoze down every other house on the street to do so.  However, this is exactly what Nick is doing with its Saturday night line-up.

Of course it should be common knowledge now that iCarly will see its last episode this November.  What has not been know is that Nick’s ratings have been down over 16% this year alone forcing the channel to do some other “remodeling” as well.  Two of Nicks other popular shows are being cancelled.  One I believe is not unexpected, the other was a little more of a surprise.

First on the chopping block is “How to Rock”.  Seriously I am not surprised about this one.  Three reasons lead me to this conclusion:

  1. It was downright boring.  These characters were so stereotyped that I could scream.  The dumb blonde, the rebel girl who hates the new girl, the stupid boys and the always cheerful girl.  The story lines were just as boring as the characters themselves.
  2. Non-white character led shows fail to make the grade on Nick.  Sadly, the proof of that lies in the way that “True Jackson VP” was treated during its Nick run.  The show had an ungracious cancellation that wasn’t even mentioned as a cancellation and during many of the weeks it’s aired, it was rarely promoted as airing a new episode.  The same could also be said about “Supah Ninjas”, whose future also seems to be up in the air even though rumors of a second season were mentioned several months ago, but nothing concrete has been heard from the show since.
  3. The show is too similar to Disney Channel’s “A.N.T. Farm”.  The type of characters are too much of the same types, but the Disney show is much more entertaining.

The other show seeing the axe is “Victorious”.  I have a few different reasons why this show is being canned:

  1. The star, Victoria Justice, is just way too busy with too many other projects.
  2. The show’s comedy wasn’t relatable to children.  With references to such thing as Elvis, the tv show  “Dating Game”, and the tv show “Match Game“.  References to 1970’s pop culture may interest adults, but is way over the heads of the kids in the audience.
  3. The show became too adult with its situations.  As with #2, much of the humor could only be related to the adult audience.  This was also a problem with “True Jackson” as it got caught up in fashion lingo through many of its episodes, therefore making it much less easy to follow and less enjoyable.
  4. The characters were always angry at each other.  Is anger funny?  I think not given the current situation in the world.  It’s odd that after 3 seasons that this show has generated so much yelling and anger between characters.  If I want yelling and anger, I will watch one of the cable news shows.

Rumors have also been circulating that Nick wants to also cancel the show “Big Time Rush” as well, thus making a clean sweep of its entire primetime lineup.  Certainly if this happened, I believe that fans would be leaving Nickelodeon in droves and possibly never returning again.

So what does Nick plan to put in its place?  Apparently, to start, a new version reboot of the worn out “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles“.  Sad to say, if this is there best offering then Nick is REALLY in trouble and certainly will lose a lot of viewers.  Hopefully, Nick doesn’t load their schedule with tons of “SpongeBob” and lame shows like the WALL-E wannabe show “Robot and Monster”.  Nick can’t live off animated series alone as they tried this a long time ago and it didn’t work.  You can’t resurrect the past and you can’t rebuild what has been destroyed.  We should all take this as a warning that Nick is in trouble.