Predictions of 2014 and 2015

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Well, it is that time of year again where I dig out my crystal ball and look back at the 2014 predictions and make new ones for 2015.  I reported that at least 3 would come true – let’s see how close I came.

 

Here are the predictions and the results in parenthesis:

 

  • Justin Bieber will go to jail.  (It happened at least once maybe more.)
  • Kim Kardashian will admit that “Baby North” really never existed and that her pregnancy was fake.  (No, it did not happen.)
  • Kim Kardashian will marry and divorce Kanye West all within the year.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • RadioShack will be out of business.  (No, it hasn’t happened yet.)
  • JCPenney will be out of business.  (No, it hasn’t happened yet.)
  • Kmart will be out of business.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • Amanda Bynes returns to TV in a new comedy show, but will also do an interview with Oprah describing the last few years.  (No, it didn’t happen.)
  • Time Warner Cable will be sold and broken up into pieces leaving smaller markets such as where I live without any providers at all.  This means that many small independent cable operators will start up after many years.  (No, in fact a possible merger with Comcast might happen instead.)
  • Lady Gaga will do a Playboy layout proving that he/she is dual gendered leaving many fans disgusted. (Thankfully, this didn’t happen.)
  • Nickelodeon will scrap “Sam & Cat” and Dan Schneider will leave the network and produce shows for rival Disney.  (The first half is true, the second is not.)
  • Hilary Duff will divorce and sister Haylie will marry.  (Not quite on both.)
  • ABCFamily cancels that horrible “The Vineyard” and “Twisted”.  (Fortunately, yes to both.)
  • Fox News fires Karl Rove after making offensive statements that the network hates.  (No, it didn’t happen.)

 

So last year I once again scored 2 ½ right out of a possible 13.  I barely missed my goal of 3 correct, but I was close.  Now let’s gaze into the crystal ball for 2015 predictions:

  • The merger of Time Warner Cable and Comcast will be placed on hold as both companies would have to discharge some of their market holdings.
  • The possibility of a Staples/Office Max (Depot) merger is canned as neither side can agree on any merger details.
  • Given no merger, Office Max (Depot) shuts down at least half of their remaining locations.
  • As well, Staples shuts down an additional 300 stores as the hack attack of 2014 grows larger.
  • On the brink of bankruptcy, RadioShack is saved by a last minute investor who wants to merge it with another big box retailer.
  • Walmart suffers a major hack attack, which causes millions of credit and debit cards to be compromised.
  • The E! Network finally cancels everything Kardashian as the network struggles to survive.
  • Adam West, TV’s 1960’s Batman, will be the voice of an aged Bruce Wayne on an episode of the Fox series “Gotham”.
  • California will suffer a substantial earthquake in the area north of Los Angeles.
  • Keystone pipeline will be defeated in Congress.
  • MTV will cancel “Eye Candy”.
  • My ex Tanya will get a divorce and return back to Maine wanting to search me out and try and patch things up. Of course, I accept (what choice do I have?).
  • I will either get a new job or a new girlfriend in 2015, but not both.

Out of my 13 predictions for this year, I predict only 2 of them will actually happen.  Maybe it is time for a new crystal ball.

Next time, I expect that my 2 blogs will each have their own unique content again.  At least that is my plan for now, but I can’t make any promises because I can’t predict what happens in the world especially given my seemingly defective crystal ball.

Nick and Disney and the Mostly Bummer Summer Thus Far

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Well, it was bound to happen.

 

Just it wasn’t expected to be this soon however.

 

“Sam & Cat” is officially dead.

 

I wasn’t really surprised that this happened, but given the facts it is pretty easy to understand why.

 

Many of the problems as far as I can tell revolved around actress Jennette McCurdy.  Between the racy lingerie pics to her not showing up for the Kids Choice Awards earlier this year, it was apparent, she was not happy.

 

In the last week or so, she has even written that she is “not a role model” and that she thought the real reason for the show’s cancellation was that she was not happy how adults were portrayed on the show, mostly as stupid people.

 

As if this was really the case that caused the show to be cancelled.

 

I believe that between her costar Arianna Grande’s music career taking off and Jennette’s career otherwise being stagnant, Jennette felt she was going nowhere fast.  While I can understand her pain, it certainly was not a great idea to sabotage the show like she did.

 

My thought is that Jennette wants to get out of working for Nickelodeon once and for all and possibly even out of kids shows as well.

 

So what does she think her future lie?  Here are my ideas (in order from best to worst):

 

  • Bring back her country music career. She has already released one EP last year.  Maybe it is time to get to the studio to start recording again.
  • Get a new show on a non-kid’s network possibly like ABC Family. She really is not standard network material yet.
  • Follow in the career path of people like Lindsay Lohan by doing a Playboy and adult films like “The Canyons”. She has already proven she has a body and likes to show it off so maybe this is what she really wants to inspire to do.  Of course, this only works if she goes on drugs and starts drinking and partying.  Certainly, not the ideal career choice if she wants to have any fans left.

 

Beyond Jennette’s problems, this show was full of problems of having lousy storylines and a couple of stunt castings.  It also had many jokes that would go over the heads of most of their audience only to be appreciated by older viewers.

 

The blame for that lies strictly on creator Dan Schneider, who seems to be in burnout mode as his latest creation of “Henry Danger” was not so great.  It was a lousy superhero movie (it was less than an hour, which I don’t call a movie, by the way) that lacked anything close to being either funny or dangerous.  This show reminded me of the 1960’s Batman series, just not nearly as entertaining and certainly not memorable.  My grade after the premiere episode is a 2.  I will report back later if I feel if it gets better or worse.

 

Speaking of movies, both Disney and Nickelodeon aired lousy movies in the last few weeks.  “Zapped” (Disney)  and “Terry the Tomboy” (Nickelodeon)  were both forgettable movies and both were pretty bad.  Both were 90 minutes of torture and neither was enjoyable.  My score on both is a 3 and I would rather watch anything for 90 minutes than either of these clunkers.

 

All has not been totally bad this summer on the kids show front.

 

There is one shining knight in a sea of junk.

 

And that shining light is “Boy Meets World—The Next Generation”.

 

Oops, that is not the title.  Its real title is “Girl Meets World” and it has joined the Disney Channel lineup.

 

For those people who loved the show in the 1990’s with Cory and Topanga will be happy that they are happily married with 2 kids.  This new series focuses upon their daughter and her best friend and their everyday struggles just like the original series did 20 years ago.  I loved the original and I love this new series as well.  The only downside to this series is that it is running on Disney Channel and may get an early end given that Disney has a policy of cancelling shows when they reach a certain number of episodes regardless of how well the show is doing.

 

My suggestion would be to move this show to its sister station of ABC and put it on Friday nights just like the original show was.  The memories that this placement would create and possibly even last longer than the original.  I highly recommend this show and give it a grade of 9.

 

Overall, we have one more official month of summer and only one winner in a crowded field of wannabes.  This week Nickelodeon is running a new live-action “Odd Family” movie.  My hope is that it is equal to the previous one and not be more summer garbage.

 

My fingers are crossed for a better August. Of course, we always have the fall to look forward to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Colbert and Kid’s Choice Awards

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If you have been living under a rock, then the news that Stephen Colbert taking over for David Letterman next year may be a shock.

 

Not that I meant that to be a purposeful rhyme, but I don’t believe that Colbert was the best choice for the next in line for the 11:30pm time slot on CBS.  I feel that the choice was put forth by pressure of what the general public had wanted and not a true audition.

 

It was easy for CBS to pick Colbert because his show runs on Comedy Central, which is owned by Viacom.  This is the same company that used to own CBS therefore it was probably an even easier decision as the two companies are probably still cozy with each other.

 

As I have never watched Colbert’s show, I can’t say how good he will be, but from the clips I have seen I have low expectations.  I will probably watch once and never go back.

 

Speaking of Viacom, a couple of weeks ago, one of its other channels, Nickelodeon aired its annual slop-fest of ‘Kid’s Choice Awards”.  Every year, it seems that this show gets worse and worse.

 

This year was no different.  Host Mark Wahlberg ran around the stage saying “I can’t be slimed” and in the end does get it.  Gee, what a surprise.  When will they think up something new?  The host always gets the green goo on them at the end of the show.  How about a year where it doesn’t happen?

 

The only high point (if you can call it that) was the lifetime achievement award given to producer Dan Schneider.  If you don’t know who he is, he created shows such as “iCarly”, “Victorious”, “Drake and Josh”, “Zoey 101” among others.  The stage became the biggest reunion of his shows ever assembled.  However, it seemed that the “Zoey 101” cast was missing from this reunion.

 

Most importantly missing from this whole thing was Jennette McCurdy from “Sam & Cat”.  While this show won fan favorite, Jennette was a no-show.  Is she angry with the network that her show is on hiatus or does it have to do with the leaked lingerie photos of her that occurred a couple of months ago?  While the pics were not nudes, they still showed her in a less than kid-friendly wardrobe.   Maybe she is embarrassed or maybe fed up with Nickelodeon entirely.  Either way, we will probably never know for a long time if ever.  Overall, the show was bad and maybe Jennette knew it beforehand.

 

Frankly, I would love to see Colbert host the Kid’s Choice Awards only to get slimed.  It may change his mind of hosting another late night talk show.  Maybe, Jennette can host the late night show instead.

 

Just a thought.

 

Jinxed — Is this a review or Nickelodeon’s Status?

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On the last day of filming of “Victorious”, Victoria Justice walked out of Nickelodeon Studios shaking her fist and saying “Your will forever be cursed.  You will never have another hit EVER again!  NEVER!”  Then in a flash, she was gone forever.

 

Of course this could have been the storyline to Nickelodeon’s most recent movie called “Jinxed”.  It would have been a much better story.  Anyway onward with the review of this show

 

As I wrote a couple of months ago, I predicted that this movie would be a loser and boy was I right on with this one.  This movie premiered on the night of Black Friday and has run several times since.  Running at a total time of 1 ½ hours (roughly 1 hour 15 minutes without commercials), this movie is just a one trick pony that deals with a curse placed on a family generations earlier by an evil girl.  Eventually the family ends the curse and gives it to the family of the girl who gave them the curse.  However, in the end, the curse is once again given to the original family.  Sorry to act as spoiler but this is the whole short movie.  Not much to look at.

 

Let me say though that I love Ciara Bravo (from the show Big Time Rush) and it is good that she finally broke character as being a scheming girl to someone vulnerable.  Unfortunately, this movie did nothing except made her look cute and adorable while going through the motions of making a movie.

 

The only redeeming value of this film is that this film reminded me of the type of slop that was released by Disney back in the 1970’s,  the type of movies that always featured Kurt Russell, Joe Flynn, and Cesar Romero amongst others.  Back then, Disney was churning these movies on what seemed to be about 4 or 5 a year.  And yet they were all basically the same lousy story and same type of premise.  However, in the long run, this type of memories should be long forgotten and in no way resurrected.  Unfortunately this movie in some ways does just that.  Congratulations Nickelodeon for bringing back the bad past.

 

My score:  3

 

Summary:  Ignore this short, boring movie unless you love Ciara Bravo.  In that case, I recommend watching old episodes of “Big Time Rush”.

 

Now the point of this week’s posting.  It appears that Nickelodeon has been jinxed.

 

One look at the Saturday night lineup is all the proof anybody would need.  Consider that shows like “Wendell & Vinnie” are gone, “Sam & Cat” has disappeared replaced by “The Thundermans” and “Haunted Hathaways”.   Both of these new shows rely on special effects and neither are funny.  I may give a review of these shows in the future if they last long enough.

 

As far as “Sam & Cat” goes, the last show that aired 2 weeks ago made a reference to the crossroad of “Shields” and “Yarnell”.  Anybody who grew up in the 1970’s may get the joke, but the audience that this show attracts won’t have a clue.  I got the joke but it really wasn’t funny.  With the ongoing references like this, it won’t be long that we say so long to this show.

 

Maybe this show is jinxed or cursed.

 

Finally on other front, I am surprised that ABC recently aired the show of “Lady Gaga and the Muppets’ Holiday Spectacular” was nothing more than an epic fail.  First it aired for an 1 ½ starting at 9:30pm, well after most kids go to bed.  Secondly, Lady Gaga is not what I call a kid-friendly celebrity.  The show has had other airings, but they have all been after the midnight hour.  Is there something offensive about this show that it has to air so late, beyond Lady Gaga being on it?  I have not watched this show and have no intention to as I do not like Lady Gaga no matter how much I like the Muppets.  I bet I am not alone in this.

 

Maybe that show was cursed as well…

 

 

 

 

Stunt Casting Reunion on “Sam & Cat”

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At some point, it had to happen: a Laverne and Shirley reunion with Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams.

 

However, this was not the venue I was expecting.

 

It happened on the Nickelodeon show “Sam & Cat”.

 

For those who don’t know what “Laverne & Shirley” is, it was a one of many spinoffs from the show “Happy Days”.  It aired from the late 1970’s to the early 1980’s.  For the most part, it was an entertaining show.

 

This reunion was anything short of being entertaining.  While this episode titled “#SalmonCat” did pay kudos to the old series such as having Sam & Cat recreate in part the original opening, it was only the very beginning of that opening.  It would have been better to do a full opening rather than this lame partial opening.

 

As far as what “SalmonCat” was, it was half-cat, half-salmon puppet show hosted by Marshall and Williams.  Eventually they broke up and went their separate ways.  “SalmonCat” is also a wild reference to Williams’ Shirley character owning a stuffed cat named “Boo Boo Kitty”.

 

This is where Sam & Cat came in.  Sam went to visit Marshall’s character and Cat went to visit Williams’s character.  Sam & Cat then hatched a plan to reunite the two stars, but it quickly turns into an old lady slow motion smack down fight.

 

The two end up injuring each other, but somehow become friends again.

 

Overall, the one who got hurt the most from this reunion was the viewer as this was about as pathetic as they come.  Under the right conditions, this could have been really great, not Saturday Night Fights.

 

My Score:  5

 

Summary:  This show continues with highs and lows, but this episode hits a new low with an audience that probably doesn’t know who “Laverne & Shirley” was.  This episode is for only those over 35, others need not apply.  Someday, we will have a better reunion, I hope.